Zombie Days on Mahana

Previously I believed that jet lag was all in the head, only real if you believed it was real just like the tooth fairy. I was wrong, crossing 13 time zones messes you up and I've spent the last 2 days half manic half zombie-like unpacking the contents of my large suitcases onto the boat. Day one I look around and cry, giving in to the overwhelming feeling that I've bitten off more than I can chew. I don't know what I'm doing living by myself on a boat. And why did I feel the need to bring eight mugs from the UK, how much tea can I really drink at once? I'm not prepared and faced with mammoth tasks I cannot begin even any, I don't know where to start. Not complaining, just crying.

Flying over Tahuna beach in Nelson, happy to be back and excited to be going to Mahana still unaware that it'd send me into an overwhelm spiral.

Mahana looking beautiful outside compared to the mess I've made inside

The first morning:

• Wake up at 4am - jet lag is real

• Turn on the heater as I can see my own breath

• Pull the blanket over my head, its pitch black-type darkness and the air is biting cold

• Sprint outside to turn on the gas at the bottle, tripping over all my crap on the floor in the process

• Try to fill the kettle from the tap only to realise the water tank is empty

• Shed a tear

• Dash outside again to fill the kettle from the tap on the dock

• Spill water on my return as I trip on more of my belongings

• Strike 5 matches before one lights because they're all damp

• Light the hob

• Wait a good 15 mins for the kettle to boil, meanwhile deliberating which of my 8 well-travelled mugs to use for this occasion

• Reach outside to grab the milk, but not wanting too much of my body to leave the relative warmth of the boat (the cockpit is my fridge)

• Fling the (biodegradable) teabag into the sea

• Tea has never tasted so good

I tried distraction techniques to deal with the overwhelm. This has never proved effective, but nonetheless I manically browsed Facebook Marketplace. Nothing like an impulse buy to make oneself feel better. I found a snowboard that was far too big for me, and its low price reflected its poor condition. Yet, with the knowledge that it would be a terrible purchase, I drove half an hour to meet the girl and have a look. On arrival I was absolutely bursting to pee but felt unable to ask to use her toilet without buying the board so it was an expensive loo stop but felt more than worth it at the time. Now as an added bonus I have a shit snowboard, another thing I need to find a place for on the boat...

Another Facebook Market purchase was made, this one no less bulky and inappropriate to my living situation. I dragged a friend on a 4-hour road trip to buy a chair...I think he's rapidly reconsidering our friendship. While the chair at the moment has no place and requires leapfrogging, it is a key part of a longer term project to make a nav station for Mahana. The other required elements being sawing cabinets, sanding, varnishing, redoing wiring etc are insurmountable at present. Buy stuff first, do hard tasks later is the motto for the week.

The only task I've managed to tackle is decorating the toilet - well done me.

Shopping never makes a situation better no matter how much I believe it does and I returned to work immediately because money doesn't grow on trees and I need desperately to earn to make up for all my impulse buys. However, handing me a drill when my body clock tells me its 2am and I barely know which country I am in is dangerous. However, it's too overwhelming to work on my own boat, so I'll gladly work on other peoples'.

Jet lagged and crazed